Comic Enthusiast Gifts

This is your brain on cartoons

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

'I'm afraid it's one of those new superbugs.'

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

"These voices inside your head -- do they ever tell you to pay your bill?"

"Sell all my stocks and buy lots of old comic books instead!"

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

'The first commandment is: Thou shalt not shoot the messenger.'

'M.R.S.A'

'He's been kind enough to stand in for us, until we can afford a new x-ray machine.'

Pins on waiting room seats - "Its helped us cut unnecesseary visits by over 23%"

She vowed to put an end to overdue books and unpaid fines. It was the right thing to do ? even used a silencer.

"What do you recommend for greenhouse gas?"

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

New windmills to fight?

"If anyone's got a plan B, now would be a good time."

'Without a green card, many super heroes from distant planets end up fighting grime.'

'It may not be a perfect wheel, but it's a state of the art wheel.'

'Do you remember when I was your trophy wife and you were a stud?'

'We may need to remove your spleen because it might not be doing whatever it is the spleen does.'

April 1 (April fools' day)

'Funniest Credit Applications'

Conan the librarian.

"What do you mean, you don't want any!"

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

"You call this 'death with dignity'?"

'You are allergic to strawberries, caffeine and bad air. You must avoid these substances and find another planet to live on.'

"It's no disgrace - somebody has to be plain vanilla."

Ear Doctor - "NEXT!!"

Living down a criminal record.

Tinnitus.

'I think this hospital is in financial trouble. The oxygen mask is coin operated.'

'Santa wouldn't employ me because I'm an African elephant, not a reindeer. I want to sue him for discrimination!'