Comic Enthusiasts Gifts

'I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and, doggonit, I'm not poorly drawn!'

'What can we do for you?' - 'I need a song removed from my mind.'

'I never have to clean up my room again. My Mom says this is the last time she's going to tell me.'

Noah's first venture after the flood.

Thorn in a Lion's Paw

"When were you planning to tell me about Hell?"

'And for insurance purposes...is this a pre-existing condition?'

"Do you see a puppy following me home in the future?"

About the dog.

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

"I don't get it. People keep opening this door and setting off the alarm! Can't they read?!"

'You can have him!' ' I don't want him!'

'Have we been bio-engieering in the swamp?'

'A guard's coming! Quick, fill in the hole!'

A man is sat between thugs on the subway.

I realize that this is highly irregular, but I've decided to refer you to a plumber

'One good thing about my record is all my crimes have been pardonable.'

"Don't tell the flat-earthers about this. We'd never hear the end of it."

"You should've left room for a lot more days!"

Sometimes I worry that your womanizing will have a corrupting influence on me, Rolf � I'd hate to grow up to be a wolverinizer.

"I can't meet you in the park today. The cats suspect something."

"Harumph. Some 'sailor man.'"

Parking Placards

Do you ever have second thoughts about the things you do, Lance? I never even have first thoughts about the things I do.

Would you like to go for a walk, Lars? Something about this conversation seems very, very wrong.

You're always saying I make you want to be a better man, Lance, but it's taking you forever. Maybe it would save time if you just became a worse woman.

"I need exactly 30 minutes to go to a funeral."

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

Books Self Help. Bestseller! Visualize Success. I can't see that working for me.

Ask Sadie. Sadie – Will you share with us pictures of your lovely self as a young woman? - Roberto, Sent from my Kindle Fire. Actual reader letter. Is that his last name? What? Send from my Kindle Fire?! It's his device. My device is a bat. Hide the devices.

Ask Sadie. I am getting divorced and I moved to Vegas. Do you think that's a smart move? - Jim. *Actual reader letter. Jim, this is a great question. One I get all the time. You do? Really? Oh yes, people are always asking me for my advice after they've already done something. You're about to yell. What do you need me for if you've already moved, you !@#$ dillweed? She gives that answer all the time.

"The wolf was perplexed. Why was the little girl wearing a red riding hood? Was her horse hiding, ready to pounce to defend her if attacked?"

Armstrong is doping the girls on Team Caffeine with Sadie Cohen saliva? Slips it into their cocoa. The team hasn't lost in months. They're monsters. Do you realize what this means? Well I suppose I do grasp the full implications. We should bet on the team. I've contacted a bookie.

No one will be seated after this comic strip has begun. Please do not reveal the shocking plot twist to your friends. This evening is not going to end well, Lance. Spoiler alert. (This cartoon was originally published on 2010-09-01).

Do you believe in serial monogamy? I did until I found out it wasn't spelled "cereal."