Quirky Act Aficionado T-Shirts

'Well, that's unusual...'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

'Not only do we have no natural enemies we have no natural friends.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Is the garbage fresh?"

"The usual."

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

"Hire him. You can't teach shadows like that."

'Have you been feeding him cat food again?'

Cat art exhibition.

I know. Isn't it funny how people and their pets start to look alike?

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

"I've built this business up from scratch. . . "

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

Early days in the cloning lab.

"I don't get you. You can soft shoe, play the ukulele and juggle, but you can't fetch a pair of slippers."

"This next trick will require a volunteer from the audience..."

'Have you got to have a Gimmick.'

'It helps to be a little crazy to work here, but you're overqualified.'

The Museum of Swine Art.

Unbroken Eye Contact: The Musical

"Respect man!"

"Today is the rabbit's day off."

"Quit complaining and decorate it! Number one, it's tradition, number two, it's nobody we know..."

"I'll do the talking!"

Hose charmer.

"Give it up for Stevie and his musical underarms! Next up, in the house...Crazy Katrina and her jump rope of death! It's something you'll see only on...the Security Camera Network!"

'Do you extract teeth?'

"Well, your reflexes are fine."

'Get in! No time to explain!'

101 uses of a dead cat: microphones.

"Have we got a show for you!"