Quippy Humor Fan Pillows

"We'd like you to be the quirky but lovable teen-age daughter,"

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Skipping Horse

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"You left this on our ship."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Theatre Masks and Butts

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"Bless You."

"Fresh pepper?"

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Introducing...Anagraman.

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

Dog in casino.

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

'Check out the old dude.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards