Quilt Guardian Gifts

"Larry! Not my grandmother's Amish star quilt!"

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

Guide fish.

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

Great Moments in Computer History: Betsy Ross sews the first bar code.

Angels' Band: Balloons holding up a guitar.

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

'Ok...something, but nothing you'd care about. Honest!'

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."

See, no monster under your bed

"Thanks, but there's really nothing to do while the meat's smoking."

'If you get chilly, use that crazy quilt.'

Movie Angel

'We hope you understand that you're not worth risking on our new carpet, and your feet will smell if you take your shoes off.'

Brother Kevin is wrecking the dorm!

"Brenda takes no chances over someone stealing our washing."

Workers cross boundaries to get an energy supply.

'You get kickbacks from Al's Sofa City, don't you, Fluffy?'

'You're home early. I thought you were going to the gym.' 'I did. And then I saw a big sweaty butt print on the stationary bike seat, and well, here I am.'

"Don't look now. I think we've got company."

World Press Freedom Day

National Cat Owner Monument.

I drew these in a cave so they won't be in the public domain.

Art Gallery - Comics.

"The old pearly gates looked nice, but they were hell to maintain."

"Are there any nuts in the kitchen?"

'Have you noticed that Harry has a twitch and is as mad as a haddock? Do you suppose it's mercury poisoning?'

'Can you stop messing with that slinky and come on in.'

"That's my grandmother."

"This is amazing! From way up here all the fields look just like a giant patchwork quilt!"

"If we weren't in last place, I'd be pretty offended by this."

'The head of the house is out, but I can handle any crank calls.'