Quiet Ninja Pillows

'My ballet training comes in handy when I don't want the baby to wake up.'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Hush puppy.

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

Babies vs. Dogs

'Simply put.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Piano Keyboard

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Martial Arts

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

Best Seller

Gone Bookkeepin'

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

Good Luck!

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

"Make it Dow 30,000, and I'll sell you my soul."

'Well done! This works much better.'

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

"You told Pastor Bob about my room, didn't you?"

Financial Advisor. The next time you let your inner child out to play, don't let him play with your credit cards.

Child stands on Math help books to reach blackboard.