Patience Ninja Pillows

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

Sandwich Shop

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Coping with a strong-willed child

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

'Simply put.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

Gone Bookkeepin'

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

"Make it Dow 30,000, and I'll sell you my soul."

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

'Well done! This works much better.'

Fishing.

Work avalanche

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

Never ending to do list

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

'I'm ready! You ready?...You ready?'

"You told Pastor Bob about my room, didn't you?"