Quiet Influencer Gifts

'I used to get a kick out of it...it gave me a sense of belonging...But now I think I'm the only representative of the silent majority left.'

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

"Petersen doesn't say much, but when he does speak people listen!"

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"This is off our first TikTok."

Witches of Instagram

Creativity 2.0

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Paranoia vs Social Currency.

'How do I get people to visit my...'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

"Hello, and welcome to Victor and Igor's latest unboxing video."

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor