Subtle Influencer Gifts

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"This is off our first TikTok."

Witches of Instagram

Creativity 2.0

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

Paranoia vs Social Currency.

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

'How do I get people to visit my...'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

"I just tweeted a chirp."

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

"I only told a few friends."

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

"Hello, and welcome to Victor and Igor's latest unboxing video."

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."