The Ethical Influencer Gifts

"You're right - what's the point of being virtuous if no one else knows?"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Witches of Instagram

Creativity 2.0

"This is off our first TikTok."

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"Influence this."

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

Paranoia vs Social Currency.