Quick-witted Professional Pillows

Surgeon asking patient, 'Would you like this to go?'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

"Who's your daddy corporation?"

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

Man using an entrance canopy as an umbrella

"When you take the oath don't worry. There's a lightning rod on the roof."

Mildred takes a shortcut to the shops. . .

'The Dorvil people feel that the merger was a mistake. They want out, they want half the company's assets and they want child support.'

"Actually the salary isn't important. . . I just need a desk to rest my feet on."

'Please sir - all of them!'

"Mr. Berkowitz, I and my Jewish career counselor, hereby wish you a mazel tov on your birthday."

Working with Hahnium, which has a half-life of 35 seconds.

'Have you referred to my previous boss?' - 'Yes, he wants to know when you are going to return the coffee money.'

"I have half an hour if you want someone to get sucked into your drama."

"On the contrary, Hank, I believe that in some cases, slapping a band-aid on a problem is a VERY effective solution!"

Extreme Accounting!

'When you said that you carried the whole weight of the company on your shoulders. . .'

'Quick, Bensonhurst-Shaw, I need a bon mot for today's meeting.'

Think fast!

Paramedic running after dropped stretcher.

Lanard, Bonwell, Wilson & Brockman: Based on the standup comedy of Steve Lanard

Bank manager standing in front of safe has combination written on his hand