Quest Seeker Gifts

Why men hate to stop and ask for directions.

"How would I know what 'the meaning of life' is...? I was hoping you were mountain rescue!"

Two men in war bonnets sit in front of a giant skull

I'm on a quest for the holy grail! Stop calling me a "go-fer"!

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

I'm actually here as part of an ongoing quest to find the ideal form of analysis. Freudian didn't work, and Jungian didn't help, so I thought I'd try Pabstian.

'Who is John Galt?'

Incentives.

Trial by Media

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Good boy."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

The Three Wise Queens

"I didn't spark joy."

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

Dead Funny

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

I love Lawyers

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"Now that's a win."

"Even if forced to slave all day, in my mind I'll always play!"

Government a la Carte

Crowded Ice Fishing