Quest Lover Gifts

"The road head is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

Lady of the bath...

Here be dragons.

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

Homo Gamus

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"I miss the Augean stables."

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Myths and legends...

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

Gamers

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

Zorro as a child.

'This it is, Ferguson! Finally, we found the legendary, mysterious snowmen crematory!'

Scotsman in the bath...

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

Bigfoot tracks...

'You pulled a sword out of a stone and they made you King? -- is that constitutional?'

Sir Lancelot finds the Holy Quail

'It's a bit demoralising when the Sheriff can claim it all back on expenses.'

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

'Well, I thought crankbaits made really great stocking stuffers.'

"We received another message from that scoundrel Robin Hood, sire!"

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

William Tell's Other Four Children

Grumpy old merry men.

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.