Epic Quest Lover Gifts

'I'm sorry but your middle earth is full of our natural gas.'

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

J. R. R. Tolkien

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

Warrior Woman

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

"Help! It's a sprawling epic!"

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

The Goblin and the Sexton

"Say, Homer - Enough reciting. Learn how to write, already."

Virgil

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

'It's a special delivery from 'Troys are us'.'

Homer

For the last time, no, I have no wish to add a hotel to my odyssey. Why Odysseus didn't use a travel agent.

One Fine Tuesday in Antarctica

Don Quichotte's shadow

"Will thou not sayest 'Uncle'?"

"Sign here, initial here, rassle Zeke for the keys and you're all set."

"The oath according to the Tolkien Pixie God of Goblinara doesn't apply here Mr. Brown."

"The road head is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

Valkyrie.

Before the invention of writing, ancient wisdom was passed down the generations orally, through the art of storytelling.

"Great interview! and your credentials are impeccable, there's just one last thing..."

"It's an epic novel about a guy who's trying to sell his car."

John Milton

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

"And now, for your final exam, Caleb."

'Beep... Hello, it's the Black Knight again... Could we move our fight to Thursday morning? Call me back...'

'Look Arthur! Your Holy Grail!'

Brifone, Aquilante and the Two Fairies are Shown By Astolfo How He Has Slain Orrilo. The Enchanted Hair Has Been Removed From His Head.