Epic Saga Lover Gifts

'It's a special delivery from 'Troys are us'.'

Valkyrie.

Virgil

J. R. R. Tolkien

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

Warrior Woman

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

007's Dating Mishaps

Wotan with eye patch

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

How can you read that comic strip Blondie? Its about a kinder, simpler time. It's about ancient history. They do the same material over and over. Exactly. I can count on it. Not like your stupid Pearls and Get fuzzy. Oooh, look how angry and edgy they are. They're sooo clever! Your whole gig is being angry and edgy. Look, I'm setting Candorville on fire.

"No, it won't last long, but while it does I aim to fight as much evil as possible."

"The oath according to the Tolkien Pixie God of Goblinara doesn't apply here Mr. Brown."

For the last time, no, I have no wish to add a hotel to my odyssey. Why Odysseus didn't use a travel agent.

"Two directors, three adaptations plus 3-D, and they STILL screw it up!"

Lord of the Rungs: Window Cleaner

"Good memoir, but we're looking for something more candid. Like not-being-invited-home-ever-again-for-Thanksgiving candid."

Weapons of Mass Comparison

Sauron's Sore Eye

Mayhem, Inc. Part 34

Oh no, Leonardo has brought his holiday snaps again!

An angry Pirate yelling at a Sea Hawk who has just stolen his Prisoner who was about to Walk the Plank.

"Luke, come over to the light side."

"Right, - I've released the Kraken....um...er....now how do I retrieve the Kraken...?"

Pamina cries over Tamino

Fisherman and pelican fighting over a fish

Brifone, Aquilante and the Two Fairies are Shown By Astolfo How He Has Slain Orrilo. The Enchanted Hair Has Been Removed From His Head.

After the Ottomans are Weakened, Sultan Muhammad II Drives His Horse Into the Sea (History of the Crusades).

Leviathan is Destroyed (The Holy Bible).

Mega Corp Pictures. A Batman musical? "Riddler on the roof"!

Noah's Ark Sculpture

"Wake up – you're Tolkien in your sleep again."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 7

'I'm sorry but your middle earth is full of our natural gas.'