Epic Quest Enthusiast Gifts

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

Warrior Woman

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Epic Battles

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

Sir Lancelot finds the Holy Quail

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

"Help! It's a sprawling epic!"

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

"Say, Homer - Enough reciting. Learn how to write, already."

Homer

Sure, it's just to find the royal remote, but a quest is a quest, Ernie!

For the last time, no, I have no wish to add a hotel to my odyssey. Why Odysseus didn't use a travel agent.

"Will thou not sayest 'Uncle'?"

"Sign here, initial here, rassle Zeke for the keys and you're all set."

Don Quichotte's shadow

"The oath according to the Tolkien Pixie God of Goblinara doesn't apply here Mr. Brown."

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Lord of the Rungs: Window Cleaner

Sauron's Sore Eye

Before the invention of writing, ancient wisdom was passed down the generations orally, through the art of storytelling.

"Great interview! and your credentials are impeccable, there's just one last thing..."

Kid reading Tolstoy's 'War and Peace' as Dad brings in 'The Three Bears'.

John Milton

"It's an epic novel about a guy who's trying to sell his car."

Aeneas

"And now, for your final exam, Caleb."

'Beep... Hello, it's the Black Knight again... Could we move our fight to Thursday morning? Call me back...'

'Look Arthur! Your Holy Grail!'

Leviathan is Destroyed (The Holy Bible).