Epic Quest Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

Warrior Woman

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Epic Battles

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

Sir Lancelot finds the Holy Quail

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

"Help! It's a sprawling epic!"

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

"Say, Homer - Enough reciting. Learn how to write, already."

Homer

"Will thou not sayest 'Uncle'?"

Don Quichotte's shadow

"Sign here, initial here, rassle Zeke for the keys and you're all set."

Lord of the Rungs: Window Cleaner

Sauron's Sore Eye

Before the invention of writing, ancient wisdom was passed down the generations orally, through the art of storytelling.

"Great interview! and your credentials are impeccable, there's just one last thing..."

Kid reading Tolstoy's 'War and Peace' as Dad brings in 'The Three Bears'.

John Milton

Aeneas

"It's an epic novel about a guy who's trying to sell his car."

"And now, for your final exam, Caleb."

'Beep... Hello, it's the Black Knight again... Could we move our fight to Thursday morning? Call me back...'

'Look Arthur! Your Holy Grail!'

Leviathan is Destroyed (The Holy Bible).

Brifone, Aquilante and the Two Fairies are Shown By Astolfo How He Has Slain Orrilo. The Enchanted Hair Has Been Removed From His Head.