Quest Hero Gifts

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"He was a very good boy."

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Homo Gamus

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Gamers

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

Smile

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

Football.

Superman's laundry

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

Toastquest!

The briefs on the outside? Actually it started by accident when I used to change in phone booths.

"The Equal Opportunity people say I can't call you my sidekick any more. You're now my personal assistant."

'Your Dad'll give your bike back when he realises he won't qualify for 2012.'

Prehistoric bikes and their advanced helmets.

Two men in war bonnets sit in front of a giant skull

"What an amazing view!"

'There's a lot of bugs in these parts, so I suggest you wear your helmet from here on out.'

"How would I know what 'the meaning of life' is...? I was hoping you were mountain rescue!"

"Sign here, initial here, rassle Zeke for the keys and you're all set."

My favorite hero? Amelia Earhart. Is she like Catwoman? Amelia Earhart was a real person. Not like your Bat-Dans and Captain Lanterns. A real hero doesn't complain when a mischievous young lass siphons off gas from her plane. He's called Batma – What? A real hero silently pats that lass on the head, climbs into her plane … and takes off into the wild blue yonder … without even a single mention of how that young lass may have also stolen her compass. I'm also a fan of the brave Max Pruss, who onc

Sure, it's just to find the royal remote, but a quest is a quest, Ernie!

"The road head is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

'I must warn you: I'm a level 85 Death Knight!'

Michael Schumacher

Catwoman // Cat Lady

'Who is John Galt?'

Encouragement from Crashed Driver

"Thank God he was wearing a safety helmet."