Legendary Quest-seeker Gifts

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

Warrior Woman

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Pyramid catflap...

Phoenix

"He never passes by without a mischievous smile."

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

Medusa and Perseus.

Angler poses with mermaid catch.

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"I believe I you, Bigfoot."

"False alarm - the King is just sleeping. Long sleep the King!"

Man sees book flying in the Mystery section.

Saint Patrick

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

Little Van Helsing was dissapointed that, again, there was no monster under the bed or in the closet.

'I'm sorry, but I can't let you on board unless there's a Mrs Bigfoot.'

A Dragon has a picnic with a Maiden.

Romulus (left) and Remus

"Of course, it might help if we actually found something every once in a while!"

For services to Tourism. . .

'Look Dad - bigfoot!'

Two men in war bonnets sit in front of a giant skull

'I still love you, but I think I should see other dragons.'

Museum of Legend. 6th Century. King Arthur. I wonder which one of King Arthur's knights invented the round table? Sir Cumference.

'I've been knocking for ages!'

Phoenix

Frog Prince

The search for Bigfoot has a beakthrough.

Parsifal

"How would I know what 'the meaning of life' is...? I was hoping you were mountain rescue!"