Quarterly Warrior Gifts

Beware of the 4th quarter.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Hoora! I made it through another day!"

"I can't understand it, we did quite well in the first three quarters.

"You can't see a grief counselor just because you got a 'B'."

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

"Now we're really in trouble!!! It's the Power Walking Dead!!!"

"Why did we get a Cheetah? They need so much walking."

A "Park and Walk" near New York City.

"Sure I know what it adds up to. It adds up to another 'C' for Eddie Goldbeck."

'You're too aggressive.'

"It's a generally positive report with a few disturbing elements...much like the tapioca pudding in the cafeteria."

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

"Of course, we can't pay you. But just think of all the exposure you'll be getting!"

". . . And you thought last month's sales figures just happened?"

"Watch him. His body says Monday but his face says Friday."

"How am I? I'm just trying to et over the flu in time for allergy season."

Psychotic mood swing.

"Tuesday mornings don't get enough respect. They should be hated just as much as Monday mornings."

'Wednesday wave.'

'How's the soup of the day coming along, Chef?'

''C-minus'? †Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

'I asked my doc for a diet plan and it works great - thanks to his usurious bills, I can't afford a car or taxis and that's why I'm losing weight by walking!'

During the winter I shovel snow. In the spring I mop the mud. In the summer I sweep up dust and during fall I rake leaves. In the theater of the seasons, I'm always a member of the cleanup crew!

'Monday morning feeling? But it's thursday!'

"All the chairs have been repossessed, so these are all standing desks now."

My job is mostly seasonal. The busiest times are cold season, flu season, and allergy season.

"I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I'm worried that I might be dead."

'Just when you think you've reached the final awareness, they send another update.'

'...and it's up to each candidate to select what he or she thinks is the least incorrect answer.'

'You'd think a Humanities professor would be more lenient in her grading.'

"That 12th step is a doozy."

'I'm taking the kid for a walk, he's overweight!'

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).