Quantified Romantic Gifts

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

Carbon Dating.

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

"I have such strong feelers for you."

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

Carbon Dating

Banana Smoothie

Consenting Adults.

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

'I love your spindly legs, your tiny pinhead and your bulging thorax - marry me!'

Doctors in Love.

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

'A corsage! How sweet of you!! It's delicious!!! '

CFL bulb and ice cream cone fall in love

'Croak something romantic, will ya?'

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

Investments: Call us hopeless romantics for still believing money can make you happy!

Happy Valentine's Day.

"You need a mint."

"I know where we stand right now, Dr. Heisenberg, but where are we going?"

"I've done the numbers, and I will marry you."

Didgeridoos

"It's serious. We've had each other's tracking numbers tattooed on our bottoms."

His suggestion of a suicide pact was not altogether what she was expecting.

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

Sorry, I don't play footsie on the first date. Neither do I. I guess that leaves rats.