Romantic Statistician Gifts

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Carbon Dating.

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"I know what you're thinking - all I am to you is a vector."

"Now that was post-modern sex."

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

"I love the equation that describes the slope of your nose."

Intellectual Foreplay...

"The best place to make black hole discoveries is in the bedroom."

'Look, I want you back, but I'm not going to beg.'

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"

Deconstructionist girlfriend

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

"The great thing about a science background is I can understand what you're experiencing in biochemical terms."

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

"105% of the staff who completed 84% of the process were 95% sure that it was a 100% waste of time."

'And do you agree to share any downturn in the stock market with equanimity?'

"I've done the numbers, and I will marry you."

Julius and Isabella Dufferburger, statistically average family with their 2.5 children.

"I see - Gravity keeps the Earth in orbit but love makes the world go 'round."

"I like you and all, Carl, but you've just got too many problems."

'Do you promise to brush up on such matters as the Large Hadron Collider?'

'Oh, Denise. I wish we had met when community property laws were more in favor of men.'

'Let's get married,Miss Jones and have 2.8 kids!'

Economic Errata

Bio Lab. The experiments indicate olfactory sensing of pheromones might play a role in romantic attraction. Love is blind but it has a great sense of smell!

"Is it just me? Or do I detect a certain chemistry between us?"

How scientists propose

Second dates are trickier. They ask the same questions as on the first date, looking for inconsistencies.

"My brain can no longer maintain the intense neural activity of infatuation."

'If you look closely at the CAT scan, you can see a tiny area of normal brain activity. Otherwise, he's got nothing but a headful of useless sports statistics.'