Putting Green Artist Gifts

'You're the only person I know who takes divots on the green.'

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

Playdough's The Republic

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

Maybe there's something to this global warming after all.

That's supposed to say garage sale!

The Music Seed

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Texturing the Walls

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

"Well yes, I'm kind of a farmer now: I farm salmon..."

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

Crap others threw out

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

'Do you do anything with the old casks?'

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

"Oh, do you like the candles? I made them myself our of old crayons!"

'Muriel makes all her own clothes out of junk mail.'

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

A dog whose nose is a gun.

"I see the radiator's Baroque again."

They've come a long way since they started in his parents' garage.

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

'Hope you don't mind the boxing gloves. I'm no good at hands.'

'Allow me to suck the electricity out.'