Putting Green Perfectionist Gifts

Golfing advice - "I'd use a 7 iron and hook it into the prevailing wind etc.....you'll just belt it into the trees as usual."

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Surreal ale

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

Golf lessons

'Not that slowly back...'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

For sale - Used only Once.

"Oh no, it's Flash Garden!"

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"It's called being preemptive."

"In this series, the artist is in dialogue with her printer."

"Just a drop."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

Quality Contorl.

'Call it a hunch...but I don't think he feels too confident.'

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

Ventriloquist's fete