Pursuing Higher Education Gifts

"I need money to finance my studies in criminal psychology with a focus on antisocial behavior."

'Please continue your education. I like working at this university.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Interdisciplinary studies.

Continuing education.

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

All Hail the Matriarchy

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

Fishbowl rebellion.

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

Football team discussions.

Trust

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Be afraid to try new things!"

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

I do want you to have a role in the group,but I wasn't thinking of 'the bloke who sits at the back eating biscuits and having a bit of a nap'.

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

'He's going to college, but he doesn't have an exit strategy.'