Purple Heart Hopefuls Gifts

'No, Corporal Shirley - You don't get a Purple Heart for a broken fingernail!'

Purple dress

I love my cape

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'I don't suppose you're just writing me a Valentine?'

Coronovirus dreams

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

King and Queen with real estate agent view castle for sale: 'My wife likes it, but she wants to know if you have the same thing in purple.'

'You see! What did I tell you about this place?'

"And the Haves, you might say, are divided into the Gives and Give Nots."

Looking For Love.

When Tia Carmen says... "Every misfortune you have carries in it the seed of tomorrow's good luck!" it means... "I didn't win the lottery last week, but this week that jackpot's mine!"

Christmas wish of a COVID Vaccine.

"She doesn't have the hots for you. She doesn't even have the lukewarms for you."

'I don't like to be called a 'senior citizen'. I prefer the term 'mature playmate''

Captain Pointy No.62 - Famous last words

"Bad luck definitely comes in threes...first my ex gets hit by a bus...then I lose my job as a bus driver...and now this!"

Tall, dark & handsome.

'Sure, you can marry my daughter when you have some money...here's five bucks.'

Happy 2021

Max was convinced that even though he'd been a bad boy...Santa would still bring him a present.

"Star light star bright please let me wake up tomorrow and be a cat so I can sleep more and won't get my heart broken so much."

It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flying, purple people person.

"I know we broke up months ago, but social distancing has made it too hard to meet new people."

'I'm going to try to be a pro hockey player. So, if I don't return, you'll know I made it, and you can take charge of the marketing department.'

There comes a point when you may have to admit the truth: you stink.

"And just remember: Daddy got you out of that nasty pet store because he hopes you'll act really cute and friendly in the park, especially around attractive, single women."

"This is a special night, so instead of an order from the car, we'll go inside!"

"That's precisely the problem. You're acting your age!"

"Guess what, Findley? He really does have a heart of gold!"

"According to the pollsters I'm your ideal partner."

'Frankly, Doctor, I wish she'd quit horses and go to boys!'

"Wait, you've got a hole deep within you you've struggled your whole life to fill? I know just the guy you should meet!"