Puppy Planner Pillows

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'We had planned to wait until Bowzer finished obedience school, then I came into heat.'

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

'Where do you see yourself in 35 years?'

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"When the time is right I intend to lead a canine revolution that will bring about a new world order. Until then I'm just hanging around acting cute."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Dogs

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

Babies.

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

Jasper wasn't used to dealing with snowstorms before winter, let alone before Halloween...

"Oh, wow! Charlie is really hungry, huh, mom?"

"There's nothing like dog-walking for making new friends...."

'To make a long story short, your biological clock has jet lag.'

It's time to treat your dog to Le Bon Chien.

"I borrowed it from my neighbor, he's a big tennis guy."

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

"Once I finish obedience school, I plan to stray around Europe for a year."

"They know me here."

'I take it your romantic dinner isn't going well. . .'

Family looking to buy a dog.

'Outside, they let me off the leash only to fetch the paper. It's sort of a work-release program.'

"I don't recognize the face. Mind if I sniff you?"

What the hell do they mean, that's a hundred and twelve to you and me.

Rex talks about his life goals.

'I've been sentenced to five weeks while they go on holidays... What about you guys?'