Puppy Love Navigator Pillows

'Sorry, I failed sex education.'

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

"Take a right at Rocky's fire hydrant. A left at Duke's bench and the dog part will be one block past buddy's tree."

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"I see a couch."

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

"Who wants to go to the park and find me a date?"

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

...In a Relationship

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

"We slipped in the tub."

"Tunnel of 'Like-Like'"

"To be honest Marsha, when I first met Ted, I couldn't stand him. Then, over time, he just seemed to grow on me."

"Look, like I keep telling what's-her-name here, we don't have a marriage problem."

"I just really wish things could go back to the way they were when we met last Sunday."

"St. Louis? Peoria? Savannah? Buddy suddenly realized he was lost."

"First, you will meet Mr. Hot. Next, you will meet Mr. Cool. Then you will meet Mr. Right."

"How's this for a romantic moonlit interlude?"

We're incompatible. I'm a woman, he's a Pig.

'So, you're married to my ex-husband?'

'My dream boat has turned out to be an anchor dragging prune barge!'

Another Hot and Heavy Night of Explaining

"Daddy's still up - I can see him loading his shotgun."

'That's my dad...Director of Homeland Security.'

'I like you and all, Adam, but I'm 'Graphic Novel' and you're just so 'Comic Bookie'.'

"Cute... But way too young."

Mixing Duty with Pleasure

A learner driver in a heart-shaped car