Puppy Love Navigator Gifts

'Sorry, I failed sex education.'

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

"Take a right at Rocky's fire hydrant. A left at Duke's bench and the dog part will be one block past buddy's tree."

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

Mine Shaft of Love.

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

"I see a couch."

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

"Who wants to go to the park and find me a date?"

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

...In a Relationship

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

Bumper Cars of Love.

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

"We slipped in the tub."

'So, you're married to my ex-husband?'

"How's this for a romantic moonlit interlude?"

"First, you will meet Mr. Hot. Next, you will meet Mr. Cool. Then you will meet Mr. Right."

"St. Louis? Peoria? Savannah? Buddy suddenly realized he was lost."

"Tunnel of 'Like-Like'"

"I just really wish things could go back to the way they were when we met last Sunday."

"Look, like I keep telling what's-her-name here, we don't have a marriage problem."

"To be honest Marsha, when I first met Ted, I couldn't stand him. Then, over time, he just seemed to grow on me."

"Daddy's still up - I can see him loading his shotgun."

'I like you and all, Adam, but I'm 'Graphic Novel' and you're just so 'Comic Bookie'.'

'That's my dad...Director of Homeland Security.'

We're incompatible. I'm a woman, he's a Pig.

Another Hot and Heavy Night of Explaining

'My dream boat has turned out to be an anchor dragging prune barge!'

"Cute... But way too young."

Mixing Duty with Pleasure