Puppy Graduation Gifts

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Big Bang Theory.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Happy.

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

"I just take Tommy's computer here and hit delete. I haven't eaten homework in years!"

School holidays

"It's nice to be wanted."

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'...Or not.'

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"No, when I said I dropped out of school, I meant I fell out the WINDOW."

University of xylongatnyfexodyl never heard of it

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

"My paper is on Paul Revere's famous ride form the standpoint of media impact across select stages of the colonial decision-making process."