Puppy Graduation Gifts

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Big Bang Theory.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Happy.

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

A prince needs to learn arithmetic because some day you may want to divide and conquer.

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

"This is what's known as a book."

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

'As everyone knows, scientists are at their peaks early in their careers.'

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

Dictionary. It's a cordless spell checker!

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

'I meant a book report on 'Treasure Island,' not a report on the Muppet movie version.'

"I just take Tommy's computer here and hit delete. I haven't eaten homework in years!"

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

School holidays

"It's nice to be wanted."

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

'...Or not.'

"No, when I said I dropped out of school, I meant I fell out the WINDOW."

University of xylongatnyfexodyl never heard of it

"My paper is on Paul Revere's famous ride form the standpoint of media impact across select stages of the colonial decision-making process."