Pet Graduation Gifts

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnyvale Dog Obedience School?!'

Big Bang Theory.

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"Make a lot of money."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Happy.

Good Luck!

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

A prince needs to learn arithmetic because some day you may want to divide and conquer.

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"This is what's known as a book."

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

'As everyone knows, scientists are at their peaks early in their careers.'

Good Luck!

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'