Punny Foodies Pillows

"I got an order of boneless ribs, an order of jumbo shrimp, and an order of hot chili with three ice waters. What is this, the oxymoron table?"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"A little lamb please."

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

Onion Guillotine

"Okay,let's go through this one more time. I asked for a LEMON in my water, not a LEMMING."

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

'Trust me, Madam, that fish is fresh!'

Pickled beets.

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

"I'm going to start with the antipasta."

"Guac-A-Mole"

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

The Chef's dumplings were his speciality.

'You'd better cut it into six pieces I don't think I could eat eight!'

"Blessed are the Greek, for they shall invent olive oil."

What on earth are you doing? Well, you wanted battered sausage, didn't you?

Gastrique Bypass

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'