Punning Pro Gifts

'Whenever he loses he quits, just because it's his mothball.'

'We could have saved an awful lot of bother and just given him a shot a hole.'

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

James's Mayfair Gym - Punting Machine.

Self Raising Flour

Tee for Two!

"He may be the principal, but he's a terrible speller."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

"Where do you see yourself in the next twenty minutes at 375 degrees."

"Oh, do stick it adjectively adverbially where the 'effin' sun don't shine!"

'Well done, Evan; you only missed a hole-in-one by 7 strokes.'

"We should have taken a eweber."

Boating Reflection

Welcome to Fairway...The town with 536 holes of golf!

His Other Shtick

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

Blue Tit Bank.

Golf

"I'm married to a control freak!"

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

Rory McIlroy