Punk Rocking Parents Pillows

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

The No No No's

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

Elvis Presley

Punk Reindeer

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

"Which one's mine?"

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"I'm putting you on country music."

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

"I can always tell when the kids go back to school. Everyone is so happy and relaxed."

'The good news is we were able to remove the homework from his stomach. The bad news is, your kid can't write worth a damn.'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'Monster mobiles.'

Original punks go to reunion

'Here's one my dad wrote.'

Boy Learning Violin With Ear Muffs.

"It's dull now, but at the end they smash their instruments and set fire to the chairs."

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

'Forgotten Hits.' A punk sings, 'Septic Fields Forever.'

'After we had him declawed he started taking on a tougher persona to compensate.'

'You did that on purpose!'

'Last year my kids put a sign on my back, but tomorrow, on April Fools Day, I'll be ready, they won't get me again.'

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

"We're just pleased he can still get into the Christmas spirit."

"How much do you want off the top?"

"I'd like to sing some songs from the great American songbook, I'll start with the Dead Kennedys. . ."

"We're thinking of having your nose pierced."

Standard Shift

'I'm looking for a job where I get free concert tickets.'

The cost of bringing up children soars to more than £140,000.