Puncture Repair Pros Pillows

'I was let down by the old bouncy castle.'

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

Best Before 5th Pint.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Punk Reindeer

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'I got fired, Amy... I hate it when that happens!'

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

What happened to "will work for food"? Will write funny gags for food. You Fusco Brothers need funny gags way more than you need your lawn mowed.

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

'At first his nose ring irritated me, but then I made him tie a string to it. Now I can lead him around.'

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

"It's easy to test yourself. Go to sleep at night and if you wake up alive the next morning, you didn't die of Corona overnight."

'I don't care if your friends all did it too - you look like an idiot!'

'Dad, I decided not to get a tattoo in the end. Like you, I got a piercing, instead.'

'Now don't complain Mum: You started it by giving me my first nose-ring...'

'No, I'm sorry - the nose ring is going to have to go!'

Carrying a bike over drawing pins.

Shoe Repair. "Shoe repair" --- It must be for people who have lost one shoe and want to replace it!

'Sorry I'm late - my wife's tongue stud got snagged on my nipple ring.'

Check out our nose ring special for the bull market investor.

'Never accuse me of not lending a hand. I've just sewn your bicycle patch on.'

Cyclist looks bemused as his efforts to pump up a flat tyre inflates the the bike frame instead.

'Kids today!'

Tree piercings.

It was the Tube logo what gave me the idea

Pinocchio gets a piercing.

"Ooooohhh, now that's what I call a piercing."

"Now that's a match made in heaven!"

"Nice lip piercing."

'I've told you before: Don't let your tongue touch your nose-ring when it's very cold!'