Puncture Repair Pro Pillows

'Never accuse me of not lending a hand. I've just sewn your bicycle patch on.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Best Before 5th Pint.

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'I got fired, Amy... I hate it when that happens!'

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

What happened to "will work for food"? Will write funny gags for food. You Fusco Brothers need funny gags way more than you need your lawn mowed.

A Tongue Stud.

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

"It's easy to test yourself. Go to sleep at night and if you wake up alive the next morning, you didn't die of Corona overnight."

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

Bob's DIY Store

"Uh...not to be bossy, but I wouldn't do it that way."

"So that's how you fixed things before there was Duct tape."

'We could have saved an awful lot of bother and just given him a shot a hole.'

Carrying a bike over drawing pins.

Pinocchio gets a piercing.

Tree piercings.

"Thanks for helping us put up the shelf, 'Utility Belt Man'."

Cyclist looks bemused as his efforts to pump up a flat tyre inflates the the bike frame instead.

'Duct tape.'

Holes in pots, cigars and the road.

Master Plumber

'I was let down by the old bouncy castle.'

Acupuncture Treatment Room. My acupuncturist used placebos on me today.

Using a sink plunger to retrieve a golf ball.

Dude, it's cool that you rebel by wearing a nose-ring, but if I were to do that, I would look just like my dad...

'How may I hurt you?'

Cow wrestling with ring through nose.

"I've got a punture in the back wheel." "Just raise the saddle up."

'... and to think this is the same kid who was terrified of getting a shot at the doctor.'

Fakir Repairs

'Be reasonable Madam - I can't get it repaired by the time your husband gets home tonight...'