Punchline Punster Pillows

Right jab or left jab.

"Careful, Rocky. You're about to give away the secret behind your knockout punches."

Snowprov

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

Dogs life

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'DO you know what time we start here?'

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

"That's two tossed salads, one egg drop soup, and one pulled pork."

A Tongue Stud.

"Smite him, my son!"

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'That was Mr.Osgood, sir. He's just made his final payment.'

"Hey Ref - any chance you can get those buzzards to quit circling over my fighter?"

"Just be happy you're getting in, worry about your hair later."

"Seriously, the way you rasied me it's no wonder I can't get a gig in a real night club."

Comedy Rule

'Wow...This could be the beginning of a fantastic career...A sales coach is waiting for you. He wants to hire you as a bad example.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"...And I don't want any resentments just because someone hits below the belt..."

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

His Other Shtick

Bucky's dream of becoming a stand-up comedian ended abruptly the very first time he stepped into the spotlight.

"I want to be a stand up comic, but life's not crap enough."

"You can't go on because you're 'feeling funny'? In your case it's so rare, make the most of it!"

'Now look what you've done. I told you that I wanted a fair fight... making fun of his trunks is hitting below the belt.'

"So the vet says, 'If this is my thermometer, then where's my pen?' . . . Get it!? . . . IS this thing on!?"

"...so he comes back into the room, he turns around, he puts the chicken on the table and he says, "All right, potassium chloride.""

"Nurse, can you send in the interpreter for Senora Delgado?"

"Watch out for his left jab."

"My computer has a virus. I'm calling in sick."

"Cool! The boss just fist bumped me!"

"You're right- things are funnier in threes."