Pun And Wordplay Enthusiast Gifts

Dog in casino.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Staff support"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'Your French dip, sir.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk