Puns And Wordplay Enthusiast Gifts

'No, I will not reduce the charge from first-degree murder to practicing acupuncture without a license!'

"Well, let me tell you something smarty. Don't even once forget who's the big cheese around here."

"I have a joke about trickle down economics, but most people won't get it."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Staff support"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Punt Cake

Please Drove Carefully.

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"Out damn Spot

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"Privates Beach"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

The americanisation of vulture.

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

AA Meeting Here Today

"Nuts to you, too."

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.