Puns And Wordplay Lover Gifts

'It's getting worse. Wanna go out sometime?'

'I'm not trying to be a smart alec... But you're one sick puppy!'

"Does this one come extra-large?"

Banana: 'Uh-Oh! QUICK, let's get OUTTA here Leonard! SKINHEADS!!' - Two Skinhead bananas with no stem-tops on their heads.

I'm between jobs right now.

"I'll give you it, she's good looking, but she's certainly no Jennifer Lop-ears."

Insomnia

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Wok. Don't Wok.

Gay Times...

Vlad the Inhaler

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"It feels good to unwind..."

Rap music

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

Fishing for complements

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Dog in casino.

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"Did you just do a rooster?"

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

An infinity pool table

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

You are what you eat!