Pun Afficionado Pillows

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Talk nerdy to me."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

baby sweetcorn...

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'Your French dip, sir.'

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Transylvanian backpackers.

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

hard-boiled egg...

A Copy Editor and His Dog