Pumpkin Protector Gifts

"Try nibblin' through that, you little tree rat!"

Prize vegetables.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

No Soliciting

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"Harry?... Is that you?"

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

The IRS emptied my pouch.

Classic Emojis for sale.

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

Happy Halloween. Something's different about her. It's boo!-tox. Every Halloween its the same thing. They take candy off the house and never come to the door. That careless jerk almost trampled me! What was it? The "Heedless" Horseman! I know it's just toilet paper, but as a mummy it still gives me the creeps!

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

"Someday, my son, that will mean you."

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

D.C. Halloween

Halloween sculptor

'Arghhh! He's got no face!'

'I think this is where our fish pond was.'

Climate change hits Antarctica

'She thinks of them as her children...'

"Can i get a transfer from the porcupine enclosure..?

Headless Horserider uses a computer

"You're lucky you don't get carved this time of year."

"Your candle has gone out."

"I had to get braces."

"It's a very simple procedure. We slice off the top of your head and scoop out your innards with a spoon."

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

'Aha...Hmmmm...tsk, tsk, tsk!'

"When's the last time you flossed?"

F&E Dentistry. Happy Halloween. That pumpkin doesn't have any teeth! He never brushed --- It's a plaque-o-lantern.

Halloween dentist.

"How did getting carved make you feel?"

"That reminds me, your Dentist called."