Pugilism Ponderer Gifts

"Well, Mom, I guess you saw what happened."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"What was I thinking?!"

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

The Politics of Food.

'This should soothe any hurt feelings.'

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

"Don't mention Pat Buchanan, pro or con."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

A man holding a pro-life sign stands above a group of beaten people who are pro choice.

Bipartisan means when both political parties agree on something. Bipartisan agreements are now on the endangered species list.

'Today, stocks dropped on poll numbers that 60% of people expected it to drop.'

'Soon as your endorphins kick in, you'll feel great.'

'Did I ever break my nose? No. Three of my opponents did that for me...'

'I know I can count on you... that's the problem.'

"What Caesar doesn't understand is that all politics is local!"

"...and forget your damn sensitivity training."

"The news lady says this bad guy was charged with assault...but he didn't have rifle. How's that possible?!"

Lotus Position: 'I'm a fiscal conservative, but a liberal on social issues and the environment...'

"It's not about win or lose. It's about how much money I'm going to make."

"It's for weird minds - they're not wired like mine...oh! I'm a poet and didn't know it!"

'Don't get up until nine.' - 'What time is it now?'

'I don't think his fists can take much more of the punishment your head's inflicting on them.'

'Look out for his low punches.'

'I think things went wrong for me in the fifth round.' 'In hindsight, was that a good time to begin meditating?'

"The hardest thing about winning bouts? The other guy's fists."

'Darling. Let's get the Gustavssons over this weekend for some more bare knuckle boxing.'

'Is it politically correct to be more or less ashamed than usual of being English today?'

'Let him go.' - 'No, he'll hit me again.'

Collateral Damage.

'You're darn right campaign promises count'