Publish-or-perish Survivor Gifts

'Enforcing the publish or perish rule, Dean McWit?'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

"Caught another one!" "Let's eat!"

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

Thinking outside the box.

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

'Don't jump. It's a book publisher!'

"And now Survivor Six...walking through your kid's room barefoot in the dark..."

Desert Island Books

"Our computers will be down for an hour, so I advise everyone to hide under their desks. The last time it was total anarchy until we were back online."

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

"Professor, just how long did you say that evolution thing takes?"

Abandon all hope of Wifi ye who enter here

"The good news today is that there is no news."

'Where do you see yourself not getting tenure in seven years?'

"It's the grisly story of the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a brilliant novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who..."

I know it's not on the yoga dvd but a spider crawled up my sleeve

"You been here long?"

Election humour

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

A writer walks over water towards a publisher

Castaway approach desert island which has 'No Loitering' sign

'Hey,Fred- I can hear the sea!'

"Life was beautiful. Then I read the comments."

'No giving-up smoking in the workplace.'

'You need to relax...take some time off... enjoy yourself...be back in 10 minutes... get this report done.'

"This is really putting a crimp in my plan to live in the woods and survive off nothing but berries and grubs."

'When they said they had the 'screaming trots' I thought they meant a band!'