Publicists Pillows

"When did we start having more spin doctors than real doctors?"

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

Sex Scandals of the Rich and Famous.

"We specialize in pretrial publicity."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'How fast can you hype?'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

First Novels.

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Create some buzz!

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Gay Times...

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

Sue the Author 3PM

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Letters escape from a caged book.

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'