Celebrity Publicist Pillows

'so let me get this straight... you're famous for being the sister of the wife of a man who went to school with someone who knew someone else who is already famous?'

"Hold on - I'm in the middle of one of Cher's fascinating political tweets."

"I do a lot of dental work for celebrities."

Oprah talks in her sleep...

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Hollywood Sign Developers

'How fast can you hype?'

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Create some buzz!

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Target your message

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'