Celebrity Publicist Pillows

'so let me get this straight... you're famous for being the sister of the wife of a man who went to school with someone who knew someone else who is already famous?'

"Hold on - I'm in the middle of one of Cher's fascinating political tweets."

"I do a lot of dental work for celebrities."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'How fast can you hype?'

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Create some buzz!

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

Target your message

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Creative entrepreneur at work

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."