Public Transport Conductor Gifts

The Force of Example.

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

Packed like sardines

I think I can, I think I can ... therefore I think I am...

The last Passenger Pigeon

Pile of top secret files on a train. Man saying 'Is that seat free'

'This Mouse is going to be huge!'

Cinderella waits at bus stop.

The Little Engine That Wouldn't

Latest Railway Marvel.

"Remember, if we get split up, take the A to 42nd, transfer to the Brooklyn bound 2, get off at Eastern parkway and buy a ticket for the Brooklyn Museum and make sure to tell them you're under three."

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

A white collar cow.

Jungle Taxi

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

"XIVth Street"

"At this time I'd like to welcome our gold-medallion passengers on board."

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

Someday

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

"Does the No. 1 stop here and does that go to Penn Station and can I get a train there to Philadelphia and then how do I get to Walnut Street?"

'Could be worse, Bunny. At least we're not flying on one of those.'

A train's dining car is a diner.

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

'You can see the excuses in the news now, it will be 'The wrong sort of rain'!'

Let the #&(%?;! pigeon drive the bus

Honk if you're holy.

Startling!

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign