Public Opinion Pillows

'I prefer 'Baby Boomer' over 'Senior Citizen'.'

'FOCUS, people, FOCUS!'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Election Time

What's your stupid opinion on the following...

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

"No opinion, eh? Well, I'll put you down as 'lair.'"

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

Like Minded

Desk of Public Opinion Polls has 'In' box 'Out' box and 'Undecided'.

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

'Perhaps it's time we re-branded.'

"It's a seasonal thing....Like the first gritters of the winter and the first cuckoo of spring!"

The first accurate poll.

"I'm undecided, but that doesn't mean I'm apathetic or uninformed."

"Step 10 paces, turn and post your opinion on facebook."

"Well, I'm offended!"

Babbling Idiot

'We get 183 channels, and I still don't know what I think.'

"The latest numbers are in. More voters want you to drop out than to run."

"But, what if we're attacked in the press?"

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

Frank integrates the modern, poll-driven, finger-in-the-wind brand of politics into his parenting style.

'According to yesterday's poll, 46% of people support having rain tomorrow while 36% are against. 24% are undecided.'

'I KNOW the country is deeply divided!'

Survey results: 9 out of 10 angels feel that dancing on the head of a pin is demeaning and potentially quite hazardous.

"And don't waste your time canvassing the whole building, young man. We think alike."

'...Best of all, Mr. President, 83 of high school dropouts on welfare think you're doing an EXCELLENT job!'

"87% of the 56% who completed more than 23% of the survey thought it was a complete waste of time."

"Geez, you're the worst focus group I've ever seen."