Public Opinion Navigator Pillows

"But, what if we're attacked in the press?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"You need to stop taking your work home with you. Take mine instead."

'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'

'Yes, I occasionally make mistakes but, unlike you, I never have to acknowledge them.'

'I need you to be more MORE DECISIVE when agreeing with me.'

"Think about it. Maybe it's a good thing the boss doesn't know your name."

Like Minded

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

Desk of Public Opinion Polls has 'In' box 'Out' box and 'Undecided'.

"So that is unanimous then - nobody has a clue what to do."

Who's In Charge Here?

Confirmation Bias

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

Business man must jump through hoops to impress his boss.

"Maybe it's not so good that my mentor is taking me to the mountaintop with him."

Election Time

Nycole Turmel: I can call Jack anytime for advice!

When you are most likely to be stabbed in the back

Keep Calm and Cover Your Ass

"I'm finally done celebrating the recent election."

JC Yomp & Assocites: Semi-professional SCAPEGOATS...24 hr daily.

'It guides you through the halls of bureaucracy.'

'How come you're taking credit for work I do?'