Office Politics Navigator Pillows

Bereaucracy kills.

"So that is unanimous then - nobody has a clue what to do."

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

The Team

'Your proposal is innovative but threatens the status quo and therefore, my job. I'm shelving it until I retire.'

'Let's explore our options.'

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'If you're not sorry then I'm not sorry. . .but if you're sorry then I'm sorry.'

'Yes, I occasionally make mistakes but, unlike you, I never have to acknowledge them.'

'How come you're taking credit for work I do?'

Innovative Personnel Only

'You have to run full speed just to stay even.'

'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'

"Good news, Henderson. . . You'll be taking over Farnsworth's Accounts!"

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

"I'm meeting my boss here in about a half hour. Three more of these and I just might be able to tolerate him."

"You need to stop taking your work home with you. Take mine instead."

Keep Calm and Cover Your Ass

'...and FRIENDS, say goodbye to FRIENDS. Everyone is out to stab you in the back, don't expect loyalty, I don't even trust my sodding wife anymore!'

'We should initiate a program of retirement incentives. We started with a team of young turks and now we have a bunch of old turkeys.'

JC Yomp & Assocites: Semi-professional SCAPEGOATS...24 hr daily.

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

'I need you to be more MORE DECISIVE when agreeing with me.'

'The boss actually looked warm and fuzzy getting on the bus...but it was just steam from the manhole cover.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

"That one shows our office cliques."

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

"If you're really interested, talk to someone at corporate. They own my soul."

'Underestimate him at your own risk. When he first came here, everybody laughed and said he didn't have a snowball's chance. Now he's our regional supervisor. Go figure!'